Taco Bell Hires Fat Chick Named Melodie

Staff Reports

An overweight white girl named Melodie has landed a job with a local Taco Bell, says Janine Simpson, a spokeswoman for Taco Bell. Simpson reports that the fat girl's name is Melody, and that she has expressed interest in black men, piercings, tattoos and tricked out Dodge Neons. Simpson claims that Melodie's musical interests are a mixture between hip hop and alternative rock bands such as Linkin Park.

Simpson believes that Melody will probably quit within a few months after she discovers that she's pregnant by one of several possible coworkers.