Tourism Gurus: School Funding Problem Can Be Solved By Canceling Altogether

By Molly Abrahammer

Tourism and Sandusky are like baked beans and farting. They just go together.

That's Why the Sandusky River Shores and Mud Welcome Center is asking the local school systems to reconsider traditional school-year calendars.

"Tourism is essential to our area", executive director Goan Ban Forreners. "We are asking school to consider not starting the school year after Labor Day."

As less money is used by schools, more money is available to businesses, she said.

Students working in the tourism industry often use summer wages to pay their way through college and would benefit by extra workdays and no school days, Ban Forreners said.

Our local businesses have suffered because we do not have enough staff to serve guests because young people are busy in schools learning how to remain at their tourism job rather than doing their tourism job.

Perkins Superintendent Denies Wreckenall says that school districts can basically do what ever the hell they want. "Not starting school at all has some merits, especially in this part of Erie county, I can tell you this as someone who needs lots of cheap labor to exploit." Wreckenall said the extra days would also allow teachers additional time to develop curriculum without being pressed by classes starting that could interfere with their painting and landscaping side businesses.

Extending summer vacation to year-round vacation would allow businesses time to take in more profits before the slow winter season.

"Don't worry, this plan will not interfere with our sports programs in the least bit", Wreckenall says, "And think how much more money the businesses can make if the kids have all day to spend their money they earn."

The possible downside is that here would be a possible shortening of the Christmas holiday or the extension of the school year, "We have to make up those days somehow so we would find our kids not going to school for all 12 months instead of sort of going to school for 9 months"

"We could look at doing away with Spring Break too because that would only interfere with business owners in warmer states"

"People need to stop worrying about these damn levies and realize the most important thing is the schools cooperating with business to provide a permanent supply of low wage service workers," Wreckenall said. "When we have no more foreign students to come in a depress wages and increase profits we can have some use of our own damn kids." Wreckenall said.