Dear Abby

Dear Abby,

My husband and I have been married for five years. We don't have any kids because my husband doesn't want any. My husband is very attractive. He used to work as a male stripper, but he's been out of work for 3 years. Whenever I leave in the morning he says that he's going to find work, but when I come home the house is a mess and there are usually a couple of wine glasses sitting near the sink and chinese food in the fridge. To me, that means he hasn't left all day. About a month ago I found a pair of red thongs in one of my laundry baskets. He said that the cable repair guy left them. Abby, I have no idea why a cable repair guy would leave a pair of woman's thongs in my dirty laundry. Do you think my husband might be cheating on me? Concerned in Podunk, Texas

Dear Concerned,

It might even be worse than him cheating on you. He might be taking advantage of you. It might be possible that the cable repair guy left his thongs, but highly unlikely. Cable repair guys are usually menly men. A pair of woman's underwear in your dirty laundry might mean that your husband is entertaining women in your home. What's worse is that he might be sponging off your income. There are plenty of male stripper opportunities out there, all he must do is show the initiative and find gainful employment. Your husband must regain his self esteem. My advice to you is to tell him to reform his ways. Then you will live happily ever after.