Regurgitator City Editor Spontaneously Combusts During Office Meeting

A Sandusky Regurgitator reporter mysteriously vanished Thursday afternoon during a meeting with co-workers. Barbie Barhottie, the Regurgitator's city editor for the last five years, inexplicably burst into a huge fireball while her coworkers discussed their opinions on how to improve the newspaper. The fireball continued to burn for several minutes until fellow reporter Holly Loon dumped Starbucks coffee on the flames. The calamity has left other employees pretty shaken up. "It was like, one minute she's there rambling about her boyfriend, and the next she's gone," said Shaunsay Acorn. "And now we don't have a city editor." The incident is still under investigation.

This isn't the first time spontaneous human combustion has claimed a Regurgitator employee. In late 2006, managing editor Linette LaCriss ignited and burned in her office after a routine argument with her staff. Maintenance workers decided to let the flames die on their own.