Staff Reports
When your basement gets flooded by seven feet of water, you suddenly get interested, said a local homeowner yesterday. "I think seven feet of water in my basement is a bad thing," the homeowner added.
In other news:
A stab victim is especially interested in seeing justice be done to the perpetrator of the crime. "I didn't especially enjoy being assaulted," the victim said. "I didn't much appreciate my stab wounds, the multiple deep muscle bruises, having my teeth punched in and being left for dead.