By Barbie Barhottie
When I was a very young girl I dreamed about becoming a journalist. I would spend hours and hours each day linking "sentences" together to form coherent "paragraphs." I would even practice using words I had never seen before in sentences. Sometimes it didn't make sense, but sometimes my mother would say, "that really sounded good." So I kept doing it.
Many years later, my obsession with becoming a journalist ended when I decided to become a baton twirler. I would twirl and twirl and twirl and twirl. At basketball games I twirled. At football games I twirled. I even twirled at the after-parties where everyone would sit around, drink fuzzy navels and malt liquor and watch me twirl. Towards the end of my senior year I realized that there would be no future in twirling, so I decided to start up my obsession with journalism again. I continued on with my obsession all the way into college, and as you can see all the way into my position as city editor with the Regurgitator. My journalism obsession has its downfalls though: It gets really boring. Instead of trying to find something interesting to write about we end up writing really corny stuff (they sometimes ask us to write about ourselves). Sometimes I dream about what my life would've been like if I had just kept twirling.
This brings me to the point of this article: Our new logos are 'multi-functional.' I know what you're thinking: "Barbie, what's this got to do with people watching you twirl?" It has nothing to do with people watching me twirl. Nothing has anything to do with watching me twirl. You just don't get it do you? I'm writing the words on this page to fill this f$%&^$ newspaper space!
I swear, all I ever hear is, "Barbie, I need copy on my desk in the next ten minutes or you're fired. I don't give a damn how beautiful you are!"
I'm like 'WHAT THE 
I go home to visit my parents and all they ever do is complain about how I'm not spending enough time with my sisters.
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